Air Travel Pet Peeves

27 November, Saturday; SA flight from Johannesburg to Nairobi. Let me preface this by saying that I am guilty of nearly all of these. 1. People who do not queue nicely, specifically at the airport. Really….is it going to be all that different if you are passenger #18 to board vs. #19? Do you really need to elbow me to get in front? Are you TRYING to draw blood? Admittedly, I’m a bit oversensitive here. For starters, my ideal boarding scenario is to be the last one to board, walk down the jet way in relative peace, slip into my aisle seat, and slide my little backpack under the seat. The hoard of people at the gate and on the jet way stresses me out and I like to avoid it whenever possible. Travelling tends to bring out the worst in some people. And I definitely shouldn’t exclude myself there. I also realize that things have really changed, especially around carryon luggage since the airlines started charging for bags. There is enough material there for an entire separate post, though. 1a. Boarding lingerers. OK, we’ve all done it especially when we have a big carryon (see above). I’m more referring to the people that wait way too close to the actual boarding queue to confuse me and make me, in a fit of politeness, think you are boarding in front of me. 1a1. Status wannabes. People who knowingly try to board before their group number is called. You know better. 1a2. Boarding queue leeches. These are people who know they are doing this and just take up room in the roped off queuing areaafter being denied boarding ahead of schedule. Assuming you speak the English or the native language and/or can reasonably deduce when you should board, I hope you trip on your shoelaces on the walk down the jet way. Qualification – this is quite often the fault of the operator. If you create a environment that encourages polite queuing, 99% of all people will abide by the rules, myself included. If you don’t provide guidance, shame on you and don’t complain that people won’t line up how you would like them to. You know who does this best? Southwest. I used to dread travelling on Southwest because you had to get there early and people were lining up everywhere. See above for what I think about that. In the past few years, they’ve introduced a numbered boarding system that ROCKS. It is the least stressful boarding experience ever. And yes, that tops having status boarding cause it keeps everyone from crowding the area. This girl just likes efficiency. 2. People who don’t deplane politely. Come on. You learned this in church or in kindergarten. Let the row in front of you exit before you. I’m more than glad to move aside for someone who has a late connection or a kid that is going to pee his pants. Just ask! Certain times, I’ve made it a point to assert my place in the order when someone rudely creeps. Oh, I feel awful for being such a b!tch, but it’s my turn and I’m probably just as anxious as you to get off the plane. 3. People who take FOREVER to get their bags in the overhead compartment. I’m short and it’s hard for me to do this myself, so I feel I am overly tolerant on this. Just move aside and let me through after a while, please! Is that too much to ask? 4. Don’t put both your bags in the overhead. I know this is a tough one and a lot of people reading this have many good reasons to do this. But I’d be pissed that I can’t get my bag on the plane because you and half of the plane wouldn’t put your second bag under your feet. And no, my bag is not a monstrous bag! 5. Seat hoggers. This is pretty much all boys. Just because I’m small and my legs don’t occupy all of my seat area does not qualify for an invitation for you to spread your legs into my area. And share the armrest while you’re at it. There are many more to include here, but I feel this is enough. I don’t want to dwell on the negative. I need karma on my side with all of the upcoming flights we have. And if you have paid any attention to our track record when travelling, you know we definitely can use a positive attitude! Update – 28-NOV, Sunday evening, Kenya I should have known not to jinx myself. We did get hit by the karma. So, I now feel I must also add some positives. Bless you for helping someone get their carryon bag. Bless you for stepping aside and letting someone through. Bless you for letting someone get in the security queue in front of you. Bless you for changing seats so the family with small children can sit next to each other. Bless you for helping the old lady get her gigantic bag off of the conveyer belt. Bless you for chasing someone down that dropped something. Double blessing if it was money. And some recent personal thank you’s. Thank you for listening. Thank you for staying calm. Thank you for being helpful. Thank you for smiling.